Yesterday was my hubby's birthday. He's 25 now. I wish he could have been home so we could do something fun but obviously, things didn't work out that way. He did get to call me though, so I got to say happy birthday, at least.
I'm just in a bad mood today. No real reason, I suppose. It's warm here and the little ones haven't been sleeping very well, so that might by part of it. I'm not sure.
We're almost done being sick, which is great. I've been waiting until this is all done so I can meet one of my Internet friends in real life. I'm REALLY excited about that! She's super sweet and her son is just gorgeous. Hopefully, that can happen this week, but we'll see.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Day 6
Today wasn't too bad. I had a friend over and her kids are about the same age as mine, so it was really nice. Her husband is in the same company as mine so we're going through the same stuff right now. I got to talk to my hubby today and he sounded pretty good. He's not as sick anymore (we all have the same thing) and he sounds well-rested. I just miss him so much. Parts of the day go just fine, like when he's be gone at work anyway, but when he should be home it's really rough that he isn't. I miss sleeping in the same bed. I even miss his snoring! I never thought that would happen.
My friend will be over this weekend, too so it should go by pretty quickly. I'm so glad that she took the initiative to come over because I'm shy and wouldn't have asked. I just don't want to bother anyone or put them out. (I know that it's silly to think that way. I just can't help it!) I don't want to be a burden just because my hubby is gone.
My friend will be over this weekend, too so it should go by pretty quickly. I'm so glad that she took the initiative to come over because I'm shy and wouldn't have asked. I just don't want to bother anyone or put them out. (I know that it's silly to think that way. I just can't help it!) I don't want to be a burden just because my hubby is gone.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Day 5
Today was a little bumpy. The kids are sick and the twins didn't sleep well last night. My 3 yo was just in a mood all day. I'm sick too, so there's not a ton of patience on my part. A friend of mine stopped by, which was really nice.
I got to talk to my hubby again this morning. That's probably going to be the last time for a while, but who knows. I wish he could call me every day that he's gone I know he's safe, but I think every military wife wishes that.
I'm trying not to count the days we have left until he comes home because that makes it seem like a really long time away... I just keep thinking that we've made through 5 days already. It seemed to take forever, but we made it.
Today isn't a good day for posting. I'm drained. Physically and mentally pooped. Tomorrow has to be a better day.
I got to talk to my hubby again this morning. That's probably going to be the last time for a while, but who knows. I wish he could call me every day that he's gone I know he's safe, but I think every military wife wishes that.
I'm trying not to count the days we have left until he comes home because that makes it seem like a really long time away... I just keep thinking that we've made through 5 days already. It seemed to take forever, but we made it.
Today isn't a good day for posting. I'm drained. Physically and mentally pooped. Tomorrow has to be a better day.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The reason for this blog.
I didn't start this for other people to read. I just wanted somewhere to go and whine freely, I guess. I'm not one of those people that's really comfortable with being sad, and I'm even less comfortable with other knowing how sad I am. This is meant to be a journal of sorts, but if someone stumble upon it and reads it, I won't mind. I'm doing this for myself. I have a rough time with the whole "Army wife" thing. I did not marry into this. We were married for 2 and 1/2 years before he signed up. We already had a son and life together. Why did we choose this? I will never be the wife that says no to a dream, regardless of how much I don't want to do it. I have no right to hold my husband back. He's the best friend that I've ever had and I want him to be happy and fulfilled. I don't want him to have any regrets.
The hardest part of this life has been dealing with the loss of our daughter separately. I was bleeding when he left for basic, and when he came home for Christmas exodus, we lost her. He was gone again about a week and a half later. I did have my sister and MIL, along with a wonderful group of women on a loss board, but I still felt so alone without him. I just wanted someone to tell me it would be ok, and that it was ok to be sad. Instead, I had to be strong for my son because we were alone. I don't think that I've dealt with it to this day, more than a year and a half later. I wonder if I'll get time to do that.
Now, we have 3 wonderfully time-consuming boys that make my heart smile every single day. I guess I'm doing this blog because of them, too. I want all the sad/angry emotions out so I can be a good mother. Obviously, I don't want my husband to worry, so I can't say these things to him either....
That was a lot of rambling! Hopefully, nobody actually does read this or they'll think I'm a nut job...
The hardest part of this life has been dealing with the loss of our daughter separately. I was bleeding when he left for basic, and when he came home for Christmas exodus, we lost her. He was gone again about a week and a half later. I did have my sister and MIL, along with a wonderful group of women on a loss board, but I still felt so alone without him. I just wanted someone to tell me it would be ok, and that it was ok to be sad. Instead, I had to be strong for my son because we were alone. I don't think that I've dealt with it to this day, more than a year and a half later. I wonder if I'll get time to do that.
Now, we have 3 wonderfully time-consuming boys that make my heart smile every single day. I guess I'm doing this blog because of them, too. I want all the sad/angry emotions out so I can be a good mother. Obviously, I don't want my husband to worry, so I can't say these things to him either....
That was a lot of rambling! Hopefully, nobody actually does read this or they'll think I'm a nut job...
The Silent Ranks
I wear no uniforms- no blues or Army greens-
For I am the one in the military ranks that is rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders. Salutes I do not give-
But the military world is the place that I live.
I am not in the chain of command. My orders I do not get-
My husband is the one who does, and this I cannot forget.
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line-
But my job is just as tough, I'm the one left behind.
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man-
The call to serve his country I cannot always understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free-
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do my kids and me.
I love the man I married. Soldiering is his life-
And I stand among the silent ranks, known as the military wife.
For I am the one in the military ranks that is rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders. Salutes I do not give-
But the military world is the place that I live.
I am not in the chain of command. My orders I do not get-
My husband is the one who does, and this I cannot forget.
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line-
But my job is just as tough, I'm the one left behind.
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man-
The call to serve his country I cannot always understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free-
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do my kids and me.
I love the man I married. Soldiering is his life-
And I stand among the silent ranks, known as the military wife.
US Army Wife Creed
I am the wife of an American soldier.
I am a supporter of the United States Army-
an encouragement for the protectors of the greatest nation on Earth.
Because I am proud of my husband and the uniform that he wears,
I will always act in ways credible to him, the military service,
and the nation he is sworn to guard.
I am proud of my husband. I will do all that I can to protect
and provide for my family in his absense. I will be loyal to my husband
and to the vows that we made as we entered the covenant of marriage.
I will do my full part to carry on the values and goals we have set apart
for our family and I will continue to instruct our children in the same manner.
As a soldiers wife I realize I play a vital role in my husbands decision to become
a member of a time-honored profession- that I am doing my share to keep alive
the princaples of freedom for which my country stands.
No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything for pleasure, profit,
or personal safety which will disgrace my husband, his uniform, or our country.
I will use every means I have to encourage my husband to be the best soldier he can be.
I am proud of my husband, my counrty, and its flag.
I will fly the flag and will always remember the sacrifices made by my husband and
by generations of men and women that have served our beloved country.
I will try to make my husband proud of the manner in which I accept his decision
to defend my freedom and the freedom of all American citizens-
For I am the wife of an American soldier.
I am a supporter of the United States Army-
an encouragement for the protectors of the greatest nation on Earth.
Because I am proud of my husband and the uniform that he wears,
I will always act in ways credible to him, the military service,
and the nation he is sworn to guard.
I am proud of my husband. I will do all that I can to protect
and provide for my family in his absense. I will be loyal to my husband
and to the vows that we made as we entered the covenant of marriage.
I will do my full part to carry on the values and goals we have set apart
for our family and I will continue to instruct our children in the same manner.
As a soldiers wife I realize I play a vital role in my husbands decision to become
a member of a time-honored profession- that I am doing my share to keep alive
the princaples of freedom for which my country stands.
No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything for pleasure, profit,
or personal safety which will disgrace my husband, his uniform, or our country.
I will use every means I have to encourage my husband to be the best soldier he can be.
I am proud of my husband, my counrty, and its flag.
I will fly the flag and will always remember the sacrifices made by my husband and
by generations of men and women that have served our beloved country.
I will try to make my husband proud of the manner in which I accept his decision
to defend my freedom and the freedom of all American citizens-
For I am the wife of an American soldier.
Days 3 & 4
My husband called the night before last. It was so wonderful to hear his voice and to know he's safe. It gave me the little morale boost that I really needed... I wish he could call every day, but it's probably going to be once a month, if that. How do you keep a marriage strong when you can't even speak to each other? We can write, but that's not really enough.
I'm so proud of my husband for the sacrifice he's making. I don't like that he's gone, but I love that this country means so much to him that he's willing to leave. So many people out there take our freedom for granted... One of my biggest pet peeves is those that come to the post and protest. They don't seem to understand that if it weren't for those soldiers, they wouldn't have the right to do that. It's just so silly to me.
Yesterday went alright. I spent the day focusing on the kids. Not much got done, really, but sometimes it's nice to just be with them. Our oldest is 3 already and the twins are 7 months. Time does go quickly, except when I want it to. It hasn't even been a week yet and I'm so ready for this deployment to be over.
I'm so proud of my husband for the sacrifice he's making. I don't like that he's gone, but I love that this country means so much to him that he's willing to leave. So many people out there take our freedom for granted... One of my biggest pet peeves is those that come to the post and protest. They don't seem to understand that if it weren't for those soldiers, they wouldn't have the right to do that. It's just so silly to me.
Yesterday went alright. I spent the day focusing on the kids. Not much got done, really, but sometimes it's nice to just be with them. Our oldest is 3 already and the twins are 7 months. Time does go quickly, except when I want it to. It hasn't even been a week yet and I'm so ready for this deployment to be over.
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